"When social relationships don't work, it makes you sick in the long run"

Katharina Wäschenbach and Lukas Weisheit want to help single people and couples with relationship issues with their start-up Dearest. This, they say, is becoming increasingly necessary in times of Tinder and the like.

Katharina Wäschenbach herself went to couples therapy a long time ago, she says. It didn't help her at all back then. In her early 20s, she wasn't really able to talk openly and felt pressured. That's why she and her co-founder Lukas Weisheit want to do things differently at Dearest than traditional couples therapists do. The fact that everything takes place via app or online should also help, because, according to the founding duo, that already puts a lot less pressure on you.

At best, startups are supposed to solve problems, which one does Dearest solve?

Lukas Weisheit: If you have relationship problems and are looking for professional help, the only option is to see a couple's therapist. But that's expensive and you have to wait a long time for appointments. Going to therapy is also still pretty stigmatized. We offer a digital service for single people and couples to deal with themselves and their relationships.

Katharina Wäschenbach: We've noticed that couples who need help are getting younger and younger. They are often in their early to mid-twenties. But individuals also want to see a coach more often to talk about challenges in their relationship life. When social relationships don't work, it makes you sick in the long run. We focus particularly on issues around loneliness and fear of loss, and address how to build healthy long-term relationships.

You write on your own website that dating apps have made finding a partner particularly easy. Is that destroying our relationships?

Wäschenbach: In any case, the fast pace favors an anxious commitment style. Online, we can just keep dating whenever things go badly in a relationship. We don't deal with ourselves and the problems that arise during a relationship. What many simply don't see: Relationship problems often arise from personal problems of the individuals in a relationship. You have to work on yourself in order to work on the relationship.

How exactly does Dearest work?

Weisheit: With our online offering and especially our app, we help users improve their relationships step by step. We have divided the app into three areas: In the Growth section, users can work with learning content such as articles and videos, and in the Talk section, they can talk to one of our coaches. Beforehand, there is usually an initial conversation to find out what relationship topics are currently on their mind. This helps us better decide which of our coaches can best help. Lastly, we launched a Reflect section where our users can reflect on the progress they have already made. In our experience, 30 percent of learning success comes from sessions with coaches, and the rest comes from learning successes.

Wäschenbach: We see ourselves as a preventive product and want to help work on challenges and problems early on to avoid a long "suffering path." In every relationship, disagreements occur sooner or later, and arguing can even be very healthy if done in the right way. We want to give people this knowledge.

In addition to the counseling sessions, some of the content is chargeable - while other content is free. What do you make that dependent on?

Wäschenbach: Content relating to introductory topics is free of charge in principle. More complex topics, where users need proper guidance, are only offered for a fee. Some learning content can be very complex and initially present users with questions. We have an obligation to make sure they do well with our offering, so we want to make sure that certain content is only available in conjunction with coaching.

How many sessions do your users book on average?

Weisheit: It's definitely several hours. There's usually a one to two week break between coaching sessions, during which our users process what they've learned and try to apply it in their own relationships. At peak times, up to ten sessions are booked. It depends on the willingness of the users, how deep they want to go into the topic.

Do you currently take in more money with your paid texts, or with consulting?

Weisheit: Currently, there is the option to unlock all learning content and then there is also the option to book coaching sessions on top of that. What we want to introduce soon is an option where both are possible, because that brings the most added value. In the future, customers will also be able to unlock content and book coaching minutes with the same subscription. Unlocking content is more for the people who don't want to go quite so deep into the topic yet. Currently, that's the majority of our users, with more and more booking additional coaching sessions.

Those who currently pay nine euros a month can book additional consulting sessions for 99 euros each. Is this actually supported by health insurance?

Weisheit: Users pay the costs themselves, because couples therapies are generally not covered by health insurance. However, we would like to be certified by the Zentrale Prüfstelle Prävention so that the costs can be reimbursed. The financial aspect should not be a reason why someone cannot deal with these issues. With our prices, we are already more affordable than many classic couples therapists, who sometimes charge up to 250 euros per session.

Wäschenbach: For health insurance to pay for couples therapy, clients would have to prove that they have a psychological problem, which leads to the disturbed relationship. But hardly anyone does that.

You want to be more low-threshold than classic couples therapy and appeal to young people. Do you have an age limit for your own coaches?

Wäschenbach: No, we don't have an age limit. We have a quality standard for selecting our therapists: All of them must have basic psychological training, in other words, a degree in psychology, so that they can be certified as coaches. Our team also includes some psychotherapists who can also take on clinical cases.

What is your biggest learning from the founding period?

Wäschenbach: For me, the biggest challenge was fundraising, where I play the active part in our organization. In such meetings, I am often the only woman in the room, which was a completely new experience for me at the beginning. The biggest learning for me was therefore to develop good mental health. If 99 out of 100 investors say no, you can be particularly proud of that one. Many no's are completely normal. Taking care of yourself is incredibly important, because only when I'm doing well can my company do well.

Where do you see your start-up in five years?

Wäschenbach: Currently, we mainly deal with romantic relationships and offer quick help with problems in this area. In the future, we want to cover all social relationships, whether professional or family, for example. In five years, we see ourselves as the trusted place where anyone can go who has questions about any form of relationship.

Do you have a role model?

Wisdom: Our role model comes from a different field. We've always found Headspace fascinating. The start-up has managed to destigmatize what should be a 'nothing' topic, namely meditation, and build it into a global business that inspires an incredible number of people.

About the people:

Katharina Wäschenbach founded Dearest together with Lukas Weisheit. Both have been working in leading positions in fast-growing companies for years. As Head of People & Culture, Wäschenbach was responsible for the scaling of Heycar and Foodspring, Weisheit was at Fab, Hy! and built up the company builder of the Beumer Group, Beam.